CONTENDING FOR YOUR MARRIAGE
There is no gainsaying the fact that marriages go through different kinds of challenges. These challenges come at different times and seasons in a man’s life. Some are as a result of the sins
and mistakes that we make, while some are direct attacks from enemies who do not wish us well and desire greatly to see us fail in our marriages. The truth remains that victory is guaranteed in Christ as long as we are ready to serve God and apply the principles of God that guarantee success.
There are forces that militate against success in any and every area of life. Anti-marriage forces abound and manifest in different forms and shapes. They manifest at different times and
seasons of our marital experience. It is the duty of all that are married to identify these forces and war against them in order to preserve their love and marriage.
2 Cor 2:11. in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes.
NIV
These forces that contend with our marriage are:
1. Evil character…
• in the life of both spouse,
• in the life of the children.
2. Negative attitude towards:
• Each other
• The marriage itself
• The children
• In-laws
• Plans and pursuits of spouse
• Adverse circumstances
• Life generally
3. External pressures on the marriage from friends, family and in-laws.
4. Career, business and financial challenges:
• Loss of job
• Unemployment
• Business failure
• Lack of money to meet basic needs and finance projects
• Indebtedness
5. Sickness and diseases.
6. Demonic interference, manipulation, projections, and attacks from enemies.
It is expected that both spouse should contend with these forces that battle their marriage and family and overcome. No one will contend with them for you. You will have to do it yourself, but in partnership with the Lord. It is not the job of the man alone, neither is it the job of the wife alone. Both of you should be involved. You must be conscious of the fact that the devil will
use the weaknesses in your life to battle your marriage to a standstill or complete destruction.
Therefore you must contend with the weaknesses in your lives and overcome them to shut the devil out of your marriage. The devil succeeded in defeating Eve and Adam the first couple by
finding opportunity in their weakness and gaining an entrance through it into their lives. At the end, they were thrown out of the garden and lost their authority and position in God.
Deal with yourself first You must both examine yourselves to identify the weaknesses that has opened the door to the
enemy to attack and oppress your marriage and family. Once identified, prayerfully, confront the weaknesses with determination to be free from them and throw them out of your life before they throw you out of your home. Pointing the accusing finger never solves any problem. Worrying over the things you are going through will never free you from your
challenges, rather it will increase your challenges. Crying and self pity won’t get the job done either. Sincere self-examination will expose the hidden source and power behind the whole
crisis. Call a “spade” a “spade “. Admit you are the problem or part of the problem and deal with it. This is the first step to contending with the forces that battle your marriage. Praying
against perceived enemies and binding evil forces without looking into your life to lock the devil out will not help you. It is in fact a waste of time and self-deception. A nagging wife who is complaining that her home is unsettled should be a joker. A man who does not provide for his family nor care for his wife and children, and yet complains about lack of submission from his wife is an insincere man. A spouse who starves the partner of sex and yet suspects and nags over every step he takes and acquaintances he or she has is inconsiderate and wicked. The self-willed partner who never listens to advice or allows input
from the partner, and yet is complaining of frustrations in his or her life is not ready for happiness in marriage. There are many things we do that open the door for troubles and challenges to come to our home and marriage. To contend with the forces that contend with our marriage therefore, we need to sincerely deal with our personal issues and then we will be able to keep evil in check in our marriage and family.
=Partner with God Life is a partnership between man and God. God knows we need Him that’s why He seeks a relationship with us. You need God’s supernatural life and power to overcome self and the
weaknesses in your life. Jesus Christ said, “Without me you can do nothing” (John 15:5). You
need to accept Jesus Christ into your life as Saviour and Lord of your life. Once you do that, you
will receive His nature which will empower you to live above the weaknesses that exist in your
life and be happy in your marriage. His life will put you above the devil and give you victory over
the spiritual battles you will have to fight in your marriage. Do not waste time about this. Do it
now. Bow your head and ask Him to come in and save you, and He will.
For you the believer, you need to decide to walk in victory over the weaknesses that exist in
your life. So many believers though free are still living in bondage because they are not willing
to let go of the old and take on the new life of Christ in their spirit. It is time you decide to live
this winning life God has given you in Christ. Stop putting yourself first. Put God first and you
will see how your love life and marriage will be transformed. If you determine to live by the
principles of God’s word in every area of your life, especially in your marriage and family life,
you will see the wonders of God and your life. Let God take center stage of your life and not self. Start living for Him and you will see how good and beautiful things will turn out in your
marriage. Let the Word renew your mind and give you a new understanding and mindset about life and marriage. Let the Word decide how you live and who you relate with. Let the Word decide what you think and what you say. Let the Word give you new desires and kill old and wrong desires in you. Let the Word of God give you the eyes with which you see life, people and events. Let go and let God take over your life and you will sing a new song in your marriage.
Walk in partnership with God and marriage will be exciting and full of happiness. Let God help you. Let God lead you and not your emotions, thoughts and desires.
Rom 8:14
14 because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God.
NIV
Ps 23
The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. 2 He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters. 3 He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of
righteousness For His name's sake. 4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. 5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup runs over. 6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I will dwell in the house of the LORD Forever.
NKJV
Know the Word, believe it and confess it always
One of the ways we contend with the spiritual forces and adverse circumstances is speaking,
confessing or prophesying the Word of God as discovered from the Bible and believed in the
heart. The Word of God spoken in faith is a sword in the spirit that strikes and slays the enemy.
Every time the Word of God is spoken in faith, the enemy is checked, resisted, struck, stabbed,
pushed back, defeated and banished. You will do yourself and your family good by studying the
Bible, identifying the promises, principles, and will of God, and taking them to heart. They will
save your life and marriage and that of your entire family. The Word will bring you endless
victories. There is nothing that God says that will not come to pass.
John 6:63
63 The Spirit gives life; the flesh counts for nothing. The words I have spoken to you are spirit
and they are life.
NIV
Isa 55:10-11
10 As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering
the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the
eater, 11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will
accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.
NIV
Num 23:19
19 God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does
he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?
NIV
Study, memorize, believe and speak the Word daily in all circumstances. Instead of complaining,
nagging, quarreling and fighting your spouse and children, speak the Word. Instead of bearing
grudge in your heart, speak the Word. When business is experiencing some challenge, speak
the Word without fear and doubt. When there is sickness, speak the Word. When there is a
lack, speak the Word. Speak the Word in all circumstances of life. Keep speaking, it will never
fail to come to pass. Let the word of God that you speak replace your experience that you don’t
want.
Mark 11:22-23
22 "Have faith in God," Jesus answered. 23 "I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain,
`Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says
will happen, it will be done for him.
NIV
Be fervent in prayer
Contending with the forces that contend with your marriage requires fervent and sincere
prayers. You do not only pray against evil spirits and persons perceived to be working against
your interest, but you take your time to pray for yourself and your partner and your children for
deliverance from wrong desires, thoughts, attitudes, perceptions, emotions, decisions, actions
and reactions that are not working in the favour of your marriage and family. You need to pray
for deliverance from the weaknesses you see in each other’s life that has been causing trouble
in your marriage. You need to pray that Jesus Christ be formed in your lives and that of your
children.
As events unfold in your marriage and personal life, career, finances, children’s life, and health,
tackle them with prayer. You must become an intercessor for your family. Instead of being
bitter and refusing to forgive your partner, pray for your partner. Your prayer will move God to
change him or her. God is the changer of men, and we all need to call on Him from time to time
to change us, or our loved ones, when the need arises. He will not hesitate to help us. Pray
rather than quarrel or fight. Pray rather than separate or divorce. Pray rather than make the
home a war zone. Pray rather than speak negatively into each other’s life. Pray rather than
curse your spouse or your children, or in-laws. Prayer changes things. Prayer makes life worth
living. Prayer brings God down into the affairs of men. Prayer makes the impossible to become
possible. Pray and never become tired of praying. Keep praying until the change you seek
comes.
1 Thess 5:17
17 pray continually;
NIV
Luke 18:1
18:1 Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not
give up.
NIV
Isa 62:6-7
6 I have posted watchmen on your walls, O Jerusalem; they will never be silent day or night. You
who call on the LORD, give yourselves no rest, 7 and give him no rest till he establishes
Jerusalem and makes her the praise of the earth.
NIV
Watch over your children through prayer. Train and keep them from evil through prayer. Mould
their personality and character through prayer and not by cursing and speaking negatively over
their lives. Pray out what you don’t want and pray in what you want. Pray for your spouse and
pray for yourself. If you can pray, God can answer. If you will pray, God will answer. The ball is
in your court. Contend for your family and win. Do not be lazy. Do not seek who to blame, but
take charge and make things happen the way they ought to be.
